Week 2 Best Bets Recap

Falcon

The Good, The Bad and the UGLY


There is a rule around sports betting that no team is as good as you think they are, and no team is as bad as you think they are. Also, science (fact check: maybe) tells us for every rule there is an exception to that rule (otherwise it would be a Law). Florida fucking Gators are NOT as good as we (I) think they are – the rule. The Colorado Buffaloes are worse than we (I) think they are – the exception.

Ordinarily I go back and break down games by reviewing Box Scores, because I cannot possibly watch every single game, no matter how much I would like to. But I watched every damn snap of that Buffalo / Falcon disaster and I believe what my eyes were seeing. Don’t get me wrong, Buffaloes had plenty of opportunities. Yet, those clowns could not take advantage of a single one. Fuck these guy. Have you ever seen a real, full grown Buffalo? That’s a baby. Fucking frauds. Did you know there’s a thing called a Beefalo? It’s true. A cross between a cow and a buffalo. I hear it tastes like chicken.

Under no circumstances should JT Shrout ever throw the football. He shouldn’t even throw the thing in warmups. Every time he throws in a game, Ralphie should gore one of his puppies. Shrout’s Quarterback Rating was an abysmal 7.4. Gawd that was UGLY. Yeah, so next game these assholes travel to Minneapolis to play the Gophers. If Shrout is the starting QB, I don’t care how many points you gotta lay, Gophers are the play.

So, I got that one wrong. Awful. Moving on…

Scott Frost…HOLY SHIT…he has made us so damn much money. I reported the action in the Week 2 Best Bets, but I also doubled down on Georgia Southern +23.0 and ingamed the moneyline +700. For record keeping purposes, I will only report the initial Best Bets action for the purposes of keeping track of Wins and Losses. Gawd I hope he doesn’t get fired (fact check: he will)

Cornholers host Sooners this Saturday, then have a bye week. If Sooners mop the field with this squad, then look for a Corn coaching change during the bye week. Probably gonna take quite a few million bucks to get rid of Frost, but I’m too lazy to look up the actual amount.

Reminds me of the young Tallahassee entrepreneur with the lemonade stand earning money for Willie Taggart’s buyout,  which was successful! Little dude earned $241, which was matched by his dad. Every little bit helps! Let that be a lesson to you youngsters, nothing worthwhile is ever easy…or cheap!

Alright, what else did I fuck up. Oh yeah, the Wipeout Game. Let’s take a look at that Box Score. Okay well Wildcats played three quarterbacks. You know the saying – If you have two quarterbacks you don’t have any quarterbacks. Right. We can extrapolate that to having three quarterbacks. De Laura – QB1 – threw three interceptions. By contrast, Bulldogs QB play was much better, so that’s the difference. Not much else to see here. I ingamed +20.0…still wasn’t enough.

The gambling godz must be crazy. Neither of my Game of the Year spread bets this week panned out. That never happens. But we are living in Bizarro World, so maybe I should get used to it.

According to math we won seven posted bets and lost seven. We made what I call the “roundtrip” but lost money on the juice.

Is there a lesson to be learned? Probably. And that is this is a lot more difficult than it seems. Also pay attention to teams / games like Boston College @ Virginia Tech. Boston College is awful. Hell, they lost to Rutgers the prior week! And Hokies had an embarrassing loss to Old Dominion the prior week. Yet Hokies are not as bad as they seemed, just had a terrible outing against the Monarchs marked by too many mistakes and turnovers.

Also, consider Trojans @ Tree. The talking heads were yapping all week about how the Trojans get their asses handed to them in Palo Alto. According to what I saw, Trojans went up there and took care of business. Maybe, just maybe, USC finally has a worthwhile head coach. The corollary is maybe just maybe David Shaw is a terrible coach (fact check: yep, sure is). Tree will get a few upsets as they always do. But that is not because Shaw is any good at his job. His opponents often look past him.

Anything else? Looking ahead, the fightin’ Spencer Rattlers host the world champs this week. And Scott Frost gets to see what playing Oklahoma is all about. We saw a bunch of upsets yesterday, which is why we love underdogs! Neither of those will end in upsets. Oh yeah, Appalachian State totally rocks! But could be in store for a letdown hosting a good Troy squad this Saturday. Iowa is a pretty, bucolic state. But their football sucks…mixing metaphors, this most definitely is not heaven, Shoeless Joe

I will be back tomorrow with some early action trying to pick-off the best numbers. Until then, go out and DO something. Fifty percent of life is just showing up! Get off your ass and go DO something.

Peace Out

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